“Gaslighting is a colloquial term that describes a type of psychological abuse in which the abuser denies the victim’s reality, causing him/her to question him/herself, his/her memory, or his/her perceptions. The term gaslighting is also sometimes used to apply to the use of inflammatory behavior or language that provokes someone to behave in an uncharacteristic way. Gaslighting is often used an abusive tactic by those with narcissistic and psychopathic personalities. The aim of the abuse is to make the victim doubt his/her perception of reality, and gaslighting tactics can be entirely verbal or emotional.
Often, victims of this abuse may start out by challenging the perpetrator, who then turns the situation around by gaslighting them. In doing so, he or she causes the victim to question themselves and in doing so, draws attention away from the abuse. For example, someone might claim that his or her partner engaged in name-calling, yelling, or breaking of that person’s possessions. The partner might avoid taking the blame with gaslighting techniques such as denying that the events ever took place, or pointing out that other person’s transgressions were at fault.
An individual may gaslight another by:
- Refusing to listen to any concerns or pretending not to understand them.
- Questioning his or her memory, denying that events occurred in the way the victim (accurately) remembers.
- Changing the subject to divert the victim’s attention from a topic, trivializing their concerns.
- Pretending to forget things that have happened to further discredit the victim.
- Denying events have taken place, claiming that the victim is making them up”
Excerpted from http://www.goodtherapy.org