At the end of the summer, I thought, “Well, it might be time to update my head shots…” I’d grown in my gray AND my 80’s bangs (finally) Good thing I did; turned out that my <Domestic Violence Awareness Month> would last 16 weeks …
September 12 & 13 * Hobart & William Smith Colleges
September 18 * Niagara University, Dr. Dana Radatz, “Domestic Violence” Class
October 9 * University at Buffalo, Dr. Chris St Vil, “Theory of Human Behavior & Development”
October 18 * CAPPA Theatre, Robert H. Jackson Center, Jamestown, Judicial Conference
October 24 * Woodclif Hotel, Rochester, Judicial Conference
October 28 * Buffalo Historic Courthouse, Judicial Conference
October 29 * University at Buffalo, Dr. Rob Keefe, SW 505
November 3 * St. John the Baptist RC Church, RCIA Program, Teen Dating Violence Program
November 12 * University at Buffalo, Dr. Noelle St. Vil, SW 505
November 13 * Hamburg HS, 9/10 grade Health Classes, Teen Dating Violence Program
November 14 & 18 * ECC Law Enforcement Academy w/the Erie County DV High Risk Team, Continuing Education for Sworn Officers
November 21 * Global Concepts HS, GLOW Program, Teen Dating Violence Program
December 18 * NC Law Enforcement Academy, 73rd Class
December 19 * Buffalo Family Courthouse w/Erie County DV High Risk Team, DV Program for Assigned Counsel
I also signed on with the @ncadv Speaker’s Bureau and finished out the final six months of the Peer Mentoring/DV Program sponsored by the Niagara County Victims Assistance Unit in the Niagara County jail. To top off my very long semester and to celebrate the season, I decorated my first “Period Tree” – <Just Say “NO!” to Period Shaming!>
Looking forward to a far less busy Spring Semester and to finally getting the first draft of the new book into the hands of my First Readers by the end of March. Say a prayer for me, folks; editing is the worst 😦
Fully immersed in writing book No.3, here’s what I did from February to early June in between looking at old photos, reading old journals, scratching out timelines, writing chapters, half chapters, one liners that would eventually *be* chapters, editing, writing some more, deleting whole chunks of text, re-writing, re-writing, re-writing 😉 Grateful for each and every opportunity …
Miss Representation: You Can’t Be What You Can’t See A Documentary Film by Jennifer Siebel Newsom
Tough Guise: Violence, Media & The Crisis in Masculinity with Jackson Katz
Tough Guise 2: Violence, Manhood & American Culture featuring Jackson Katz
The Mask You Live In: Is American Masculinity Harming Our Boys, Men & Society at Large? A Film by Jennifer Siebel Newsom
Be very careful how much credit you take when discussing your role in helping a battered woman to turn her life around. In the end, if a woman can successfully transition from ‘victim’ to ‘survivor’, it’s because she did the work. Because she had the strength, courage and conviction to stand her ground and say, “No more.” Yes, friends and loved ones may have helped ~ emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, financially ~ but in the end, a successful re-start is achieved because a battered woman did the heavy lifting. For herself, by herself.
Linda Dynel, Leaving Dorian, (2014)
Susan G.S. McGee, 20 Reasons Why She Stays: A Guide For Those Who Want to Help Battered Women, (2005) – This paper can be viewed an downloaded at: www.stopviolence.com/domviol/whytheystay.htm
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (2002)
Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help (2006)
Michael Kimmel, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, Understanding the Critical Years Between 16 and 26 (2008)
Jody Raphael, Saving Bernice: Battered Women, Welfare and Poverty (2000)
Michael P. Johnson, A Typology of Domestic Violence, (2008)
Robbin S. Ogle & Susan Jacobs, Self-Defense and Battered Women Who Kill (2002)
Evan Stark, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life (2002)
C.J. Pascoe, Dude, You’re A Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality In High School (2012)
Jody Raphael, Listening to Olivia: Violence, Poverty & Prostitution (2004)
Michael Kimmel, Angry White Men (2013)
Natalie J. Sokoloff, Domestic Violence at the Margins (2005)
Michelle Kaminsky, Reflections of a Domestic Violence Prosecutor: Suggestions for Reform (2011)
Gavin DeBecker, The Gift of Fear (1997)
Erin Pizzey, Scream Quietly or the Neighbors Will Hear (1974)
**Please also see my blog posts under Domestic Violence and “Think About It” Thursdays
If you knew that a male friend or family member had stalked, harassed or abused his former partners (either because you witnessed the behavior or because he confided the information to you) would you feel morally obligated to tell his current partner? Are you a busy-body if you get involved? Do you only tell if she asks? Do you assume that he will be honest and tell her eventually? If you stay silent and he injures his current partner, would you feel partially responsible because you were aware that there was a potential for danger and said nothing? Are we responsible for other people’s safety?
Music played softly in the gallery and advocates from local help agencies answered questions and offered information and guidance at tables set up in the lobby as students, faculty and members of the surrounding community viewed about 80 pieces of art created by survivors of domestic violence in a special exhibit at Niagara University’s Castellani Art Museum.
“This is the first year Niagara University has been part of the event. NU students have created a red flag – part of the national Red Flag Campaign, which addresses the red flags of dating violence, said Karrie Gebhardt, director of domestic violence and parenting services at Family and Children’s Services of Niagara. The initiative is a campaign to remind people to ‘say something’ if they see the signs of dating violence in a friend’s relationship. Some of the red flags include, coercion, jealousy, stalking, emotional abuse, sexual assault, isolation and victim blaming.
Eileen Wrobel, a Niagara Falls Police domestic violence victim advocate, facilitated the art exhibit with survivors through the Windows Between the Worlds art program.” – Nancy Fisher, Buffalo News, October 20, 2016
“If we’re ever going to end domestic violence, it’s going to have to start with the way that we raise our sons.” – Linda Dynel
This quote was included in the literature that was given to over three hundred youth football coaches yesterday evening at the Niagara Erie Youth Sports Associations’s annual coaches meeting. With sixteen member organizations, NEYSA is Western New York’s largest youth football league. I was happy to be able to help Ray Turpin, President of NEYSA, put together a program that would make a lasting impression on all of the attendees.
I’m pictured here with Niagara County Sheriff James Voutour who spoke to the packed auditorium about topics like being a good role model and the lasting impact that coaches have on their players. Sheriff Voutour asked thought provoking questions like, “Are you going to be successful or significant?” and tried to impress upon the crowd of mostly men that they have a “golden opportunity” to teach each and every young person that steps onto their field to be respectful, decent and thoughtful young men (and women) by quoting Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.:”There’s never a wrong time to do the right thing.” Addressing the topic of domestic violence, he encouraged the group to speak up if they thought that something was amiss with one of their player’s families. “If you see something, say something.”
Sheriff Voutour ended his presentation by suggesting that the group practice standing at attention with their players for one minute at the end of each practice, as sometimes children have a hard time standing still and paying close attention during our national anthem. “If you teach respect for our country,” he told them, “everything else will follow.”
I’m glad to have had the opportunity to meet Sheriff Voutour and to help make the 2016 NEYSA coaches meeting one that don’t think any of the attendees will soon forget.