That’s where we find Krissy, in this much anticipated sequel to Leaving Dorian; having survived one full day outside of Dorian’s grasp, wondering what comes next. The journey that follows spans twenty years. A second marriage becomes the mechanism through which Krissy attempts to navigate her trauma and repair her forever broken heart. Being forced to manage an abusive ex-husband who quickly learns to weaponize law enforcement, the family court system and even his own children, only compounds the undiagnosed CPTSD that weighs so heavily on her narrow shoulders for more than a decade. And while the duty of motherhood shapes nearly every aspect of her life, the need to reach out to women who have also suffered at the hands of men who claim to love them eventually becomes a catalyst of change.
Finding Krissy: A Memoir of Survival is all at once eloquent, fierce and heart-breaking. More than just ‘the rest of the story’, Finding Krissy is Linda Dynel’s impassioned plea: “For anyone who’s ever given their power away – reclaim yourself”.
Thrilled to announce that https://findingourvoices.net has chosen Leaving Dorian as their October Book Club selection! The virtual club meeting will be held on Tuesday, October 19 at 6pm over Zoom. All are welcome – Sign up at http://www.bookclubz.com
I *love* doing discussion groups and cannot wait to take part in this virtual chat. All are welcome! You can purchase copies of Leaving Dorian (paperback and ebook) at http://www.amazon.com/author/lindadynel
My public appearances have been extremely limited over the past eighteen months due to COVID, so if you’ve read Leaving Dorian and have always wanted to *Meet the Author* or ask a question, this is a great opportunity to connect “in person”!
Susan G.S. McGee, 20 Reasons Why She Stays: A Guide For Those Who Want to Help Battered Women, (2005) – This paper can be viewed an downloaded at: www.stopviolence.com/domviol/whytheystay.htm
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (2002)
Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help (2006)
Michael Kimmel, Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men, Understanding the Critical Years Between 16 and 26 (2008)
Jody Raphael, Saving Bernice: Battered Women, Welfare and Poverty (2000)
Michael P. Johnson, A Typology of Domestic Violence, (2008)
Robbin S. Ogle & Susan Jacobs, Self-Defense and Battered Women Who Kill (2002)
Evan Stark, Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life (2002)
C.J. Pascoe, Dude, You’re A Fag: Masculinity and Sexuality In High School (2012)
Jody Raphael, Listening to Olivia: Violence, Poverty & Prostitution (2004)
Michael Kimmel, Angry White Men (2013)
Natalie J. Sokoloff, Domestic Violence at the Margins (2005)
Michelle Kaminsky, Reflections of a Domestic Violence Prosecutor: Suggestions for Reform (2011)
Gavin DeBecker, The Gift of Fear (1997)
Erin Pizzey, Scream Quietly or the Neighbors Will Hear (1974)
Del Martin, Battered Wives (1976)
Jackson Katz, Leading Men: Presidential Campaigns & The Politics of Manhood (2013)
Jackson Katz, Man Enough: Trump, Clinton & The Politics of Presidential Masculinity (2016)
Rebecca Skloot, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks (2010)
Sarah Herman, Feminism in 100 Quotes (2018)
Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist (2014)
Kayleen Schaefer, Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution & Triumph of Modern Female Friendship (2018)
Glennon Doyle, Untamed (2020)
Sow & Friedman, Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close (2020)
Florence Given, Women Don’t Owe You Pretty (2020)
Rozsika Parker & Griselda Pollock, Old Mistresses: Women, Art & Ideology (1981)
Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman, (1978)
Mikki Kendall, Hood Feminism, (2020)
Rachel Louise Snyder, No Visible Bruises, (2019)
**Please also see my blog posts under Domestic Violence and “Think About It” Thursdays
I’m not sure how it’s possible, but I think I worked *more* during this weird, COVID-laden, socially-distanced semester than I ever have before – and not just in front of audiences! Once my loved ones finally convinced me that I did – in fact – need to purchase a ring light, I had to figure out how to use it I also FINALLY understand how to unmute myself *and* how to “Join Video” 😉 I also started on the second draft of the sequel to Leaving Dorian , re-dedicated my novel, Sunrise and the Seven One Six , walked a socially-distanced 5K and joined yet another social media platform 🙂 Last, but certainly not least, I was happy to be reminded that a local women’s shelter (PASSAGE in Niagara County) requires all of their interns to read Leaving Dorian as a part of their training.
This was also my first semester back since trudging through some very serious life changes. Though I’ve never been happier {my life – wholly and completely – has never felt so “right”} even good stress is stress! As it turned out, I shouldn’t have given it a second thought; I’m giving this semester a 10/10: Highly Recommend 🙂
August 26 – Erie County Domestic Violence High Risk Team – Buffalo PD
28 – ECDVHRT – Horizon Health Services
September 8 – Niagara University – Niagara County Law Enforcement Academy – 74th class
15 – University at Buffalo School of Law – Family Violence Women’s Law Clinic
16 – Niagara University – Dr. Dana Radatz 590 Domestic Violence class
23 – ECDVHRT – BPD Police & Parole
24 – University at Buffalo School of Law – Dr. Michael Boucai – Family Law class
October – 14 – University at Buffalo Gender Institute Gender Matters podcast
16 – ECDVHRT – Legal Aid Bureau
21 – Trocaire College – Dating Violence Presentation for Community Coordination Response Team
22 – ECHRT (x2!)
29 – Speaker Series, It Takes A Community: A Survivor’s Story for Haven House/Erie County CFS
30 – ECDVHRT
November – 16 – University at Buffalo School of Law podcast
24 – University at Buffalo – Dr. Rob Keefe, Human Behavior class
December – Hamburg Middle & High Schools, Dating Violence Awareness Presentations
From Judge #53, Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards, Category: Life Stories.
“Whenever a woman writes about her experience in being in an abusive relationship, she helps other women. This is exactly what Dynel has done with Leaving Dorian, which seems to be the author’s story written in third person, as if it were a novel. I appreciated the choice the author made in this perspective, for it conveys the necessity of a woman distancing herself from an abusive past. Dynel has done a brilliant job. The reader is immediately hooked by Kassy’s circumstances. Dynel does not depict Kassy as spineless victim, but she definitely is a girl who has had to deal with less than easy circumstances while still quite young. There seems to be limitless ways a woman can end up with an abusive man, and Dorian is both unique and classic in the ways he chooses to dominate. His manipulation of religion, his threats, and his belief he is always right are recognizable. I liked the way the author went back and forth from her escape with the little girls to the backdrop story of how she was snared to begin with. Dynel achieved this balance beautifully, succeeding where many other writers have failed. This book cannot fail to find a following, once a female audience is informed of its existence! The only mistake I found was in the spelling of a variation of the verb “to lie” (i.e. to recline) on page 139. “Laid down” should be “lay down.” I think better cover art could be made for a book as good as this. What I see is a bit plain.”
*27/30 points
So, a few of my own thoughts on the above review: On the whole, it’s fantastic. The judge has nothing but positive things to say about the structure, organization, pacing, plot and story appeal, character appeal and development as well as “voice” and writing style, and in fact gave me “5” in all of those categories, “1” being “Needs Improvement” and “5” being “Outstanding”. One grammatical error was found, which brought my spelling, punctuation and grammar score down to a “4”.
I used to stress about missing details like this, but over the last three years my husband has taken to pointing out misspellings and grammatical errors accidentally left in books by professional copy editors, so – I simply don’t take it to heart anymore when I miss what should be an obvious error, no matter how large or small. (Even in this case – throughout the review the Judge erroneously refers to my main character “Kassy”.) In the nearly three years since Leaving Dorian was published, no one has ever mentioned that error, so I’m thrilled that it was brought to my attention. The beauty of being a self-published author is that an error like this can easily be corrected. What irritates me, though, is what always irritates me when I enter my work into any generic sort of contest – the lack of understanding or consideration about why certain details of my book are done the way that they are.
The judge gave me a “3” on cover design, stating that it seemed “a bit plain”.
OK…. *deep sigh*…
When I sat down to write Leaving Dorian, I didn’t just bang out a manuscript, blithely choose cover art and throw it out onto the market for purchase. I researched. I looked up everything from the proper way to write a memoir to standard font styles and sizes and paper choices. I also looked at the cover designs of other memoirs about sexual assault, domestic violence and stalking. Do you know what I found? Every other memoir’s cover design was dark and brooding. Blacks, dark purples, reds and grays were the colors of choice for these stories. The artwork often times depicted violence or had dreary, foreboding images. It didn’t take long for me to realize that the cover design for a story which is subtitled, “A Memoir of Hope” was going to need to be very different than anything else that was on the market.
There’s also a lot written in writer-y digests about “knowing your target audience”. This directive gave me pause on more than one occasion, primarily because to say that I had a “target audience” was a bit of an understatement. Leaving Dorian was not just written with victims and survivors of domestic violence in mind; I wrote it for them. Leaving Dorian is my gift to them. Leaving Dorian says, “I see you.” It says, “I believe you.” It cries out, “I found my way to freedom and you can, too! Reach out. Seek help. Believe.”
The cover of Leaving Dorian is done in soft neutrals and pastels because if “hope” had a color, it wouldn’t be that of a bruise. The artwork is neat and clean, almost minimalist, because chaos isn’t. The type face is 12 point font (like that of a young adult novel) and not 8 or 9, as is standard in books written for adults, because I remembered very well trying to fill out forms and read documents when I first left my ex-husband. The tiny fonts were frustrating to manage when my brain was awash in the thousand thoughts that I had to think every minute just to manage myself in the “outside” world after being penned in an abusive relationship for nearly a decade. The pages are off white and soft to the touch because when trying to focus, pages that look and feel like they’re out of a textbook can be intimidating. Leaving Dorian was structured to be inviting because it can’t do its job if it’s not read.
Thank you to Judge #53 for what is, on the whole, a very thoughtful, thorough, fantastic review! And I’ll take the “3” on cover design, because I’m keeping it 🙂
**Please Note: If you choose to purchase a USED copy of Leaving Dorian, please make sure that it’s a Second Edition, as this includes a Foreword and an Epilogue and reads better than First Edition copies.